A couple weeks ago I had to write a review of a spa/hotel that I had visited. I thought the place was beautiful, but it didn’t totally meet my expectations, and there were some things I didn’t like. Instead of just writing from my heart, with my honest opinions, I tried to sugarcoat it. I tried to skimp on the actual review so that I didn’t go into *too* much detail.
And the article got sent back by the editor. Twice. I can’t say that I blame her, it kind of sucked.
I felt like I was letting her down. I felt like I was letting myself down.
So I started over from scratch and wrote what I felt, what I thought, what I did (and didn’t) experience, and 700 words later it was done. And it wasn’t half bad if I do say so myself.
This experience brought up a very good question:
Why are we so uncomfortable with the truth?
Obviously, there are tons of reasons why people don’t always tell the truth. My reason? Probably the most common excuse – I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings (as if the owner’s self-esteem hinges on my review, right?).
I feel like society sets us up to be uncomfortable with telling the truth, and I decided that I was letting that into my life and my decisions. We’re taught to “bite our tongues” and to sugarcoat things because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. We call people fake and two-faced because they are afraid to tell people how they feel. People who are up front with people are either applauded for being “straight shooters” or looked down upon for being “blunt.”
I for one, appreciate honesty.
I feel more connected to people who are honest than who are “just nice.” If I mess up, tell me, so I can learn from it and not do it again. How can you learn from your mistakes if no one will tell you what they are in the first place?
Honesty doesn’t have to be brutal.
Maybe sometimes people can’t be honest without feeling mean, but if the honesty is coming from your heart, not from a place of making someone else feel bad or feel wrong, it won’t be brutal and most likely will be appreciated.
So I’m committing to being honest. Straight, from the heart, honest, even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable (Thanks Keith!).
How about you?